Every television show you go on is a choice. Joan Rivers choiceshowtelevision Change image and share on social
Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. Joan Rivers chinchinesedirectory Change image and share on social
I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent. Joan Rivers attractivechildgirl Change image and share on social
I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show. Joan Rivers liveshowstage Change image and share on social
As comedians, we are all laughing because life is so horrible. Life is so difficult, and I cope with it by making jokes about absolutely everything. Joan Rivers absolutelycomediancope Change image and share on social
Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we're going down the tube. Joan Rivers actdarlingfunny share on social
I hate reality shows that are not reality. Joan Rivers haterealityshow Change image and share on social
I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning. Joan Rivers beginfeygood Change image and share on social
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.' Joan Rivers hellhouselaw Change image and share on social